"65"

Submarines perform wonderfully as containers for high-tension drama as the challenges of close quarters, the inability to see what’s going on above, and the vulnerability of sailors working at many fathoms beneath the sea become as compressed as the oxygen they breathe.

Ralph Fiennes, while recently chatting about his part in “The Grand Budapest Hotel,” let it slip that’s he’s set to play M, replacing Dame Judi Dench as the head of British Secret Service, in the upcoming Daniel Craig Bond film. Shooting is set to begin in October, in time for the 2015 release of “Bond 24” (a working title, we hope).   Why should this announcement from Ralph get us all worked up? Well, in addition to the fact that he seems an excellent choice to succeed Dame J., confirmation of a new Bond movie means... new Bond Girls!   Whether these ladies start out on Bond’s side or against him, they all succumb to his charms eventually (except the really bad ones who just use him for rough sex and then still try to kill him – you just can’t trust some women.)

News flash from Cannes: It’s Nicole Kidman’s zombie apocalypse. Alright, it’s not quite that bad, but apparently her turn as Grace Kelly in “Grace Of Monaco” suggests the Aussie actress thought she was playing the part post-mortem. Though she admits to nothing (just a little botox), from all reports, her face is stitched in a puffy perma-grin in an attempt to play the much younger Kelly. And, according to early reviews, the 46 year-old Nicole has all the charm and animation of her Madame Tussaud likeness. Are the monkey glands not working?  Scott Foundas of Variety had this to say: "Handsomely produced but as dramatically inert as star Nicole Kidman's frigid cheek muscles, (director Olivier) Dahan’s strained bid to recapture the critical and commercial success of his smash Edith Piaf biopic 'La Vie En Rose' is the sort of misbegotten venture no amount of clever re-editing could hope to improve.” And we thought the festival couldn’t get any worse than Naomi Watts’ disastrous turn as Princess Di. Dare we suggest a slippery slope into "Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor" territory? For Kidman’s part, she has admitted that it is “awkward” that the royals of Monaco denounced the film as a “farce” and canceled their traditional trip to the festival – one that has some significance, as it was where Grace Kelly originally met Prince Rainier III in 1955. But what do they know? They’re just her family.  

Two gunslingers stand toe-to-toe in a dusty crossroads… on the left, a powerfully built man donning a cowboy hat and wearing a leather vest and bandanna; on the right, a tall, cool customer in a serape, with a rope burn ‘round his throat.     You duck down inside an old barrel and hold your breath… a tumbleweed rolls by… and the church bells chime…. bong… bong…bong... (Cue the “Waah Waah Waah Waah Waah” of Ennio Morricone’s signature soundtrack theme).     As far as I’m concerned, the only man thick-skinned enough to stand up in a town square to the cool, rattler squint of Clinton “Clint” Eastwood, would be the Duke himself (better known as John Wayne). But on which would you stake your claim when facing a hail of bullets?