"68"

I can vividly recall the first moment I saw Meryl Streep on-screen. The film was “The Deer Hunter” (1978). Her part was relatively small — she played the stateside love interest of two men shipped off to Vietnam — but I was immediately struck by her presence. 

Just like the image of her fragile, unconventional beauty trapped within the glow of a tight spotlight, Judy Garland’s life as a performer was surrounded by a vast darkness. She gave the world her special gift, and it gave back not a shred of happiness. There was an overarching sadness about her that only grew more pronounced as the hard years went by. As Frank Sinatra put it, “When she sang, it always felt like she died a little.”   It was tragic pretty much from the outset. When overbearing show mom Ethel Milne found she was pregnant with her third child by husband Frank Gumm, she attempted to induce miscarriage by throwing herself down a flight of stairs. Failing that, she tried to get an abortion. This desire may have partly stemmed from Ethel’s growing suspicion that her husband was homosexual. Regardless, a family friend finally convinced the couple that this little one would be a blessing. They hoped for a boy. On June 10, 1922 they welcomed their third daughter – Frances Ethel Gumm – the combined hopes of her mother and father right there in her name.

Over the course of movie history, there have been the great actresses, women who light up the screen with charisma and character, like Bette Davis, Katharine Hepburn, and Meryl Streep. There have also been women whose special gifts had more to do with the sexual allure they projected. Hey fellas, you must have noticed them, right? Brace yourselves then- here are our picks for the top twenty female cinematic sex symbols of all time. (Drum roll). 

Katharine Hepburn, whose birthday falls today, remains the only actor or actress to be awarded four Oscars. Yes, Meryl has long since surpassed her on nominations, but Kate still leads on wins. Few people now realize that by the end of 1938, after just six years in Hollywood, pundits were saying Kate was all washed up. In 1939, the year many point to as Hollywood’s finest, Kate didn’t have a single movie credit.  True, she got her first break early enough, as talking pictures in the early ‘30s were always searching for young, attractive Broadway-bred comers who could actually speak. Kate made an auspicious debut in 1932’s “A Bill Of Divorcement," opposite the aging, alcoholic John Barrymore (who played her father).

By the time ambitious model-turned-actress Grace Kelly hit Hollywood at the dawn of the ‘50s, she was possessed of near-perfect looks, enormous ambition, a healthy sex drive, and… a major Daddy complex. As stunning and talented as she was, Grace could never seem to please her self-made businessman father, Jack Kelly. Somehow this drew her physically to older men. (I’ll have to ask my shrink how that works).

Though the celebratory pomp won't literally explode (with a 21-cannon salute!) until her "Official" birthday in June, it’s today that Queen Elizabeth II actually turns 90, and she shows no signs of slowing down. Her Majesty still rides horses, carries out Investitures (those big ceremonies where diplomats and Rolling Stone singers become Knights), and brightens over 400 engagements each year with her little-legged corgis and big hats. 

The Olympics finally wrapped last week with a blowout Closing Ceremony in Sochi that featured a hellish, 3-story animatronic bear that Putin probably designed for the upcoming attack on Ukranian freedom fighters.  Amongst the thrills and spills that come part and parcel with humans travelling at unholy speeds atop icy surfaces, we had the usual whining from ice dancers and figure skaters over anonymous judges’ scoring, some truly amazing tumbling and spinning from the more amicable (and fun) crowd of skiiers and snowboarders, and those weird moments that happen once every four years where we suddenly care deeply about non-sports like curling.